Coming out at college part deux
I didn’t sleep that well last night. I knew everything would go well but i just get very nauseous when i’m anxious. It’s not anxiety from telling them, i have no problem telling people what i am. It’s just that i am scared of talking in front of a lot of people. As usual i tried to puke but nothing ever comes out because apparently my stomach does a big cleaning every night leaving me with nothing. I had a few hours to spare so i started to rehearse what i was going to say to the class. By the time i had to go to college i had only eaten half a cracker so i was pretty fucking hungry. Sadly, eating becomes the hardest thing ever when i’m anxious.
When i arrived at college my tutor approached me. “Should we do the same thing as last time” she said. I was fine with that because it seemed to work before. I went to the toilet to do my hair because it totally looked like some hobo hairdo. A girl gotta look good when doing stuff y’know. So i went into the classroom and sat down. My tutor started talking about that a particular someone had to tell something. Everyone started looking at eachother, wondering who it was. Nobody had a clue that it was me.
Then my name got called. I had to stand in front of the class to do my thing. I pretty much said the same things as last time. What i am, what it is and where i was getting treatment. The initial reaction from people was that they were a little shocked since they, unlike my project group, didn’t notice a thing.
Surprisingly not many questions got asked. The usual ones did, but not very deep ones. Me being a bit jokingly about it all lightened up the mood a lot. I could read from some of the girls’ faces that they were happy for me that i told this. After a bit of discussion we ended the “lesson” with me telling them i’m always open for questions if they have them. All in all, i got very positive reactions from people in my class.
I also had some photo’s with me of my “girlmode”. I had promised one girl of my project group that i would show some of them to her. She thought it looked pretty good and she liked my jacket. She asked me why i didn’t go to college like that already. For me it’s still very scary to go out in “girlmode” so i don’t see that happening anytime soon.
I wonder if their reactions will stay the same, since they still need time to let it sink in for a bit. Sadly i only have this class for two more months, after that i get a new class who of course i have to tell too. I have to say this class is the best i’ve ever had. We’ll see what the future holds for me.