Diary entry #27 – It’s the final countdown

final countdownToday i went to my gender clinic again. Despite some people looking at me, everything went fine on the way there. As my appointment was in the afternoon, it was pretty crowded in the waiting room. I walked to the counter there to say i had an appointment at 13:00. The guy behind the counter said to me that the one that was before me was late so my therapist was still busy with that guy. So i had to wait for about half an hour. During that time i heard a therapist calling for someone in the waiting room. I noticed which therapist it was and silently repeated her name when she walked away. The FtM that was sitting across me looked at me and started laughing and i did so too. We both knew that [therapist name] was about the worst one you could get around here. If you think my therapist is bad, she’s ten times worse and she’s infamous for denying hormone treatment for a lot of people. I kinda feel bad for the dude that got her as a therapist.

Anyway, my therapist came to get me and he still didn’t know how to pronounce my last name right. I tried to correct him but he was like “whatever”. As i scheduled this appointment myself, i had to be the one taking the lead in talking about stuff i did. I talked to him about me telling my neighbor, meeting an old school friend and some more girlmoding in my town. He thought it was pretty good that i did all that in only a month.

He then asked me what i thought i still needed to do before going fulltime. I knew that if i said anything specific, he’d choose that as a thing i needed to do next time. I wasn’t having any of it so i just said “I don’t know”. “When do you suppose you want to go fulltime” he said. I said perhaps after a month or two on hormones. That seemed to please him somehow. After that he wanted me to draw a timeline of when i wanted to go fulltime. This seemed another trap of his so i answered very vaguely. What it came down to is that maybe i could go fulltime next week or after 3 months, i didn’t place any deadlines for myself because i know he’d enforce those.

What he said after that made me kind of happy. “I’ll discuss your file with the rest of the therapists here and next month you’ll get the results. What this means is the board of therapists there are going to be talking about if i’m eligible for hormone treatment. Now you might think, isn’t this a bad thing, what if they say no? Well, luckily the board rarely says no to someone who is as far along in diagnostics as i am. They usually only deny you if there’s some weird shit going on (e.g. not trans) or you don’t want it yourself. So yeah i have quite a big chance that they’re going to say yes.

Before we ended he said he’d wanted to do one more test with me. He said he only gives this test at the end, so that was another indicator to me that the diagnostic phase was coming to an end. It was a simple test really, it was kind of like the same questions i did at my intake appointment. I think they do this test so that you can still cop-out at the last minute if you wanted to. Sadly we ran out of time, so we are going to finish the other half of the test on the next appointment. I was okay with that and walked to the counter to plan a new appointment.

So exactly a month from now i’ll hear from him whether i may start hormone treatment or not. Stay tuned :).


4 thoughts on “Diary entry #27 – It’s the final countdown

  1. Pingback: A summary of happenings in 2014 | Naominizer

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