I was more anxious than usual this morning, which is pretty normal i guess because if he was going to say yes, that would have a pretty big impact on my life. The train today was more crowded than usual which sucked, but luckily most of the people are like zombies in the morning looking at their phones so i was pretty much invisible to them. Not that i really give a damn anymore whether someone looks at me or not.
My mom and i arrived at the gender clinic shortly. For some reason we were way too early so we had to wait for a bit for my therapist to get me. After a good 30 minutes i saw him walking towards me from the hall. “Naomi, come with me” he said. This was the first time he ever adressed me with my girl name so i knew something was up. We went in his little room and he started recapping stuff i did last month and then asked me what i did this month. I told him i did more girlmode in town and more of the same stuff i already did before. I know i didn’t post about those ventures on here because i thought it wasn’t that interesting, sorry. That and i don’t feel like posting every little thing that happens on this blog.
Anyway, he told he me discussed me with the other therapists at the clinic. They came to the conclusion that based on what i had already done that i was ready to start with hormone treatment. I really had an internal victory moment right there. Sadly there was a but… (yes there is always a but). He wants me to go fulltime ASAP, and by that he means after 1.5 months of hormones and earlier if possible. It isn’t ideal, but if that was the deal i had to make i was willing to accept that.
He asked me if i wanted to get my mom in there and tell her the good news. And so i did. My mom was really happy for me and my therapist told a little bit what was going to happen during hormone treatment. Of course i already knew what effects are to be expected on hormones so there was nothing new i heard. And that was pretty much all he had to say to me. It was more of an announcement appointment than discussing stuff really.
He walked to the counter after shaking hands with me and told the guy there to make an appointment with the endocrinologist. It’s finally happening went through my mind and i got a really warm and bubbly feeling. So yeah near the end of this month i’ve got an appointment with the endo. He’ll do some tests on me and draw some of my blood to see my hormone levels. I also got another appointment for next week on my appointment sheet. It’s for measuring bone density or something. Why they need that is beyond me but it’s probably for research or something that bones change on hormones i guess.
My therapist also said i was allowed to change my name right now. They immediatly changed it at the gender clinic itself, but i have go to my own county to ask for a change in my birth certificate and identification card. I won’t change it right away because i think there’s going to be some problems with the administration if i am not actually living fulltime as a girl yet.
I just got to say, i’m so god damn happy right now you can’t even imagine. I’m celebrating this victory (is calling this a victory weird lol?) with my family tomorrow with a delicious piece of pie :).