I turned 9, and i believe this was also the age at which i experienced gender dysphoria for the first time. Although of course i had no idea what this feeling was or meant right then. I don’t know why, but as the year progressed i began seeing life as a boy as frustrating and stupid more and more. For some reason it just felt bad, like there was something wrong with me.
Later that year i began praying to god, wishing that i would wake up as a girl the next morning and that my life as a boy would never have happened. Every single morning i woke up disappointed, as the thing between my legs wasn’t gone and nothing else had changed either. After a few months of trying i gave up on praying to god because apparently he wasn’t going to change me into a girl anytime soon. I felt utterly betrayed by him.