I turned 17 years old. The urge to wear female clothing and put on make-up got bigger and bigger. The only problem was that this was almost impossible to do for me. Ordering something from internet and then letting it be delivered at home was not an option. My mom was always home so she would definitely notice anything i ordered. Stealing clothes and make-up was morally wrong in my opinion so that wasn’t an option either. And walking into a random clothes shop and just buying female clothing was not something i would do either, i was way too scared to do that.
So only one option remained, which was “borrowing” clothes from my mother. So one day i wore one of her bra’s (her other clothing was way too big for me). Wearing a bra was a whole new experience for me. For some reason it felt very natural and when i looked in the mirror i almost cried tears of happiness. The supposed image of me having breasts made me really happy somehow. It felt like a piece of the puzzle (my body) finally fit and that it should have been like that from the beginning. This feeling of extreme happiness was not something i had ever felt before. When i wore my boy clothing all i could feel is sadness and anger. Perhaps i was transgender after all i thought to myself.