Diary entry #39 – Getting my hair done

hairdresserSo i finally caved in and went to the hairdresser to get another hairstyle. So i let her cut it all off until none was left, so i am bald now. Just kidding, i’m just messing with you guys ;).

So this morning i went to the hairdresser. It was about 10.15 am when i walked in. I had previously made an appointment, so atleast i didn’t have to wait too long. I sat there anxiously waiting, because umm for some reason i decided going in boymode was somehow the best idea in this situation (it wasn’t in hindsight). Once it was my turn the hairdresser asked me what i wanted. I kind of muttered “I want a womanly hairstyle” which she didn’t hear so i had to repeat myself. After she understood what i said  she asked me what kind of hairstyle i was thinking of. I told her i wanted some layers in my hair and she thought that was a good idea too.

After like 5 minutes while she was busy with my hair, i told her i was going to live as a woman for the rest of my life. While waiting for her reaction i showed her my ID-card which of course shows that i am female. After seeing that she was like “Omg that is so cool!”. Out of all the reactions i could’ve gotten, that was not one i expected. So during the rest of the time she kind of barraged me with questions about how things work when you are transgender. As i love educating people about it, i didn’t have a problem with that. Although i’m still not sure why people are obsessed with the question about having “The Surgery”. She also gave me some words of courage to hopefully help me with my life as a woman.

Next to that, she also gave me some tips about make-up and hair. It turned out that i did some things totally wrong with my hair. After she was done with my hair, i was quite surprised with the result. I knew i had kind of curly hair, but not that curly. I had a full head of curls it seemed. She told me to just stop brushing out my curls and just embrace it. A lot of girls would be jealous of having natural curls like me according to her. I wasn’t sure what to think of my curls, but that’s something to get used to i guess. It does look a lot nicer than the “long guyish hair” i had going before. So i thanked her and i had to pay like 20 euro’s which to me was not a lot for what she did to my hair.

Once i got home i showed my new hairstyle to my family. Before seeing it my mother was afraid that the hairdresser would fuck it up, because last time they cut off way too much with me and my mom. Of course that wasn’t the case so my mom liked it. My two brothers were kind of indifferent towards it but could agree that it looked more womanly. My dad also liked it.

It’s kind of weird that a different hairstyle can change a lot about one person’s appearance, at least that is a feeling i had. I look much more like a girl with this hairstyle and in some kind of way it “softens” the look of my face. Safe to say, i’m very pleased with it.

I would post a photo about it here, but my hair kind of got weird during the day because of the wind so it doesn’t look that good right now. I’ll have a look if i can take one in the morning.

Diary entry #38 – Lasers!

laser deviceSo yeah, today i had an appointment at my hair removal clinic. When me and my mom arrived we were half an hour early because we thought the bus would take a longer time to get us there.  After twenty-something minutes i got called by my hair therapist (is that what they call it?) and we got into a little room. She first had me sign something i forgot to do last time at the intake appointment. Then she had me lay on one of those sort of benches (the ones dentists and doctors use) and told me to do some breathing excercises when she would be lasering hair away. This way i wouldn’t focus that much on the pain but instead focus on my breathing.

Pain. That word didn’t sound nice to me and safe to say, i was pretty anxious about it all. I had no idea what kind of pain it would cause and i sure as hell didn’t know what my pain tolerance was. After discussing some things with the hair woman, she handed me some glasses which supposedly protected me against the light flashes of the laser device. After that she put an ice pack on my upper lip and chin so it would numb the area a bit. And yeah that was freaking cold. If i thought that was cold, i was wrong, as she put some kind of gel on my upper lip and chin that was way colder. I don’t know where she got it from, but if she would tell me she got it from the antarctic, i would believe her too. The gel was supposed to make it easier for the laser device to slide around.

So there i was. She picked up the laser device from it’s stand and it read the number 38. I didn’t know if that was high or not but i think it was. As she zapped the first hair away, it didn’t hurt that much so i thought that this wasn’t gonna be half bad. She continued zapping away hairs and eventually she got to the middle of my chin. And holy mother of christ, that shit hurt. It felt like someone was stabbing me with needles repeatedly. I asked the woman why it hurt so much worse at that spot. “More nerves i guess” she said. After a while she was done with my chin so she wiped off the gel and started preparing to do the hair above my upper lip.

If i thought the pain was bad  on my chin, i discovered a whole new world of pain when she started doing my upper lip. It hurt so bad i started tearing up a little. It felt like little lightning bolts going into my lip. I repeated the phrase “remember your breathing excercises” in my head over and over again. Once i started focusing on that, it got a lot less worse. She also told me why it hurt so bad, because apparently young people have a low pain tolerance. After a few minutes more of zapping she was finally done. She put another ice pack on my face to stop any swelling and prevent extra redness. 5 minutes later she told me i was done and told me to look in the mirror. My chin and upper lip area were covered in red skin.

To prevent it from getting any worse, she put some kind of cream on it which caused the burning feeling to decrease. She also went back into another room and came back with some kind of foundation. That was so i wouldn’t look weird on the way home, red face and all. It surprised me that she guessed my skin color right on the first try with the foundation. After giving me some cream to use at home, we went to the information desk to pay. It cost 150 euro’s for just 30 minutes of work, but atleast it’s worth it in the long run. The first two times i’ll have to pay myself, any other laser sessions beyond that are covered by my insurance, which is nice.

When i got home i could already see some hair on my upper lip falling out and i could even pull out some of them. It surprised me how fast that happened.

The result, right after she was done with laser. Much more red than i’d like.