Ask me anything series – Questions from Nour

What of music do you love the most?

Rock is my favorite genre of music with techno/house as a close second. Classic or modern rock is both fine with me. The only kinds of music i don’t like are rap and country music.

Do you dance? Ever wanted to learn to dance?

I don’t dance. As a matter of fact i’ve never learned how to. I just copied what others did at parties when i needed to dance. I think i do want to learn how to dance some time in the future. When i do, i’d probably learn modern dance, classic things like the waltz and such don’t really interest me.

Did you fall in love before? How did it feel for you?

I haven’t fallen in love yet. In my teenage years my sexuality was kind of confusing, probably to do with the fact that i was trans. I wasn’t sure if i was into guys, girls or both. Two girls in high school fell in love with me but i didn’t have strong feelings for them back. I liked them sure, but i couldn’t see myself in a relationship with them as my jealousy was just too strong. Looking back it made sense perhaps, i’m not really into girls. So yeah i have no idea what falling in love is like. I don’t believe i am asexual so i think i will experience it some day.

This one is gonna be tough: is there any reason or fears that may cause you’d come to the decision (willingly) to stop the transition or de-transition??

Hmm yeah this is a tough one. The only thing i can think of stopping transition is if it turns out i’m not trans but have some other illness that imitates the symptoms. This is very unlikely to happen as i know i am trans and my therapist confirmed it, but if a brain scan says i’m a perfectly normal male i think i’m willing to accept that. If that happens i’d probably live on as an effeminate (gay) male.

Even though i’m probably never going to de-transition, there is a slight chance i can see it happening. If i end up extremely ugly aka “man in a dress” like, i’d probably couldn’t handle the societal pressures put on me. I must say, living as male is a lot easier than being a female. Seeing as i’ve always chosen the easiest path in my life i’d probably turn back if it gets extremely hard to live on as female. Wait, scrap that, i’d probably commit suicide if i have to turn back.

Lastly, if i am not able to transition medically (hormones, surgery etc.). Then i’d be forced to stop my transition. I’m not sure what i would do if that happens.

Nour’s Blog

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